Tammy Fairbanks first became a mother at the age of 17. I have tried and tried to imagine what that would be like and have never fully been able to. Mom never led me to believe that she regretted having me so young. I was never made to feel like a burden. I actually had the impression that I was exactly what she had always wanted. A daughter. I still feel that way. I have three brothers and I know my mom loves us all, but I think we all know that mom and I are more than mother and child. We are best friends.
It's hard not to be best friends with someone that knows you better than anyone else ever will. (Most likely.) Sure, it can be infuriating at times. All moms can drive their kids crazy and vice versa. It's pretty challenging not to scream when she says "I told you so." because Mom's "always" right. But I know that I am blessed. I have a mom and best friend.
She is the only person that has been by my side through all the ups and downs. She has been my advocate when I had no ability in that area. She has pushed me; out of bad habits and situations and into improvement. There were times in my life that my mom worked three jobs in order to pay the bills and feed us. We were never hungry and we never went without having not only what we needed but also a lot of what we wanted.
I know that most mothers say they aren't prepared for the guilt. I also know that my mom is not immune. I just have to keep telling her that she did the best she could with what she knew at the time. Was my brother and and I the best kids in the world? No. Is that something that can rest solely on my mother's shoulders? Absolutely not. I don't think anyone else in the exact same position could have done it any better.
Right before her 33rd birthday, my mom became a mother for the last time. She had the two most perfect little boys I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I was 15 and so close to the age when she had given birth to me. It's amazing what you can learn about parenting in 15 years. I believe my brother and I put her through her masters in parenting because she had a handle on those boys from day one. I am so proud of the twins, but I am even prouder of my mom. I believe their successes have a lot to do with her.
They know exactly what I knew growing up. Mom is their biggest fan. She knows what they are capable of, most likely, even when they don't. They know she loves them and will do anything for them. She is the same mom I had, but more finely tuned. She knows what lies ahead in the teenage years, she has the upper hand.
And I'm glad. I'm rooting for her this time around. Because I'm her fan too.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
I love you!