Well, well, well. Here are again. Another year is ending. I've been lurking around the internet and scoping out everyone's year end/new years postings and of course I thought about what I would write.

A few nights ago Brandon and I were in bed and he was flipping through channels and I insisted that he stop on the channel playing "The Family Stone". I saw some parallels from the movie, to my life. Most shockingly so  in the scene where Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker ) and Ben Stone (Luke Wilson) are at the local bar. There's this point where Ben tells Meredith something along the lines of,  "You are wound so tight and eventually you are going to blow your top. You have to relax and let your freak flag fly."

Well, there you have it. My resolve is to try and relax and let my freak flag fly. I mean, my freak flag flies, but not in the direction I want it to. I want to go back to being that carefree girl that doesn't sweat the small stuff. (Not the one that must. have. things. done. HER WAY ONLY. When did I become so anal?)

I do need to learn how to relax. I mean, I know how to relax when I am hanging out with my family and friends, perhaps with a beer in hand, but what I am talking about is in those everyday life situations. When I'm driving or at work or during unsolicited conversations. I want to see every encounter with other human beings as a blessing. There are times when you least expect it, that someone will say something that takes your breath away. In a good way. But if I'm not open to that because I am in a hurry or having a bad day, what might I be missing from our interaction? It's a really bad habit to always be running as fast as you can from one thing to the next. I want to quit living my life this way.

So not only do we start a new year, it's also a new decade. I pray very solemnly that this war will be over by the time I am able to celebrate 2020. That is what I most hope for in our new decade. I am very happy with the past decade. Honestly, it wasn't all daisies and rainbows, but damn if I didn't learn a lot and grow in ways I never knew would be necessary. My mom knows exactly where I was 10 years ago. I never thought that I would live through a lot of the experiences I encountered in these past ten years, but I did and as a result I am a much wiser and stronger person.

All I could really hope for, on a personal level for the next ten years are my health, my happiness and love. Maybe I will also gather my courage to really go after my dreams.

I hope that everyone who reads this will have a happy new year and much success and happiness in the next ten years as well.

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